28 August 2013

Oblivion

Moon + Coma + The Matrix + The Borg + Terminator and the Hal 9000 thrown in for good measure.








Tom Cruise being every action hero he's been, except not Minority Report.  This movie builds over the first hour and 12 minutes, desolate scenery, character building, world building, and you think, "Wow, this is gonna be amazing", and then it's not.   I'm a big fan of sci-fi and action and I am more than willing to forgive giant holes and nods to other movies and actors phoning it in, but this was such a direct rip off of Moon with Time Machine and The Matrix jumbled in that it actually pissed me off.  The last 45 minutes of the movie was a big rush to blow things up and then they pulled one of those M. Night "surprise!" deux ex machina dick moves and I ended up  screaming at the screen and cursing the director, who as it happens, was also the writer, go figure.  Seriously, this could have been a great sci-fi movie even with the ripping off of the other movies, but Hollywood needs to stop giving these guys carte blanche and they need to start putting money into training editors who edit scripts and the film itself.  They need to stop letting these guys operate in either the vacuum or the echo chamber.  It's like the author's of successful series who decide that they don't need an editor any more for publishing and every precious word or idea is a perfect flower.  It's not.  It's ego.  And they need to check it at the gate and give us good writing again.

21 August 2013

Blood Clan (Rabies or "Kalevet")

Their makeup artists aren't afraid of bone fragments.





Fear.net offering.
Israeli horror flick.  Subtitles.  Some krav maga. All the women have blue eyes...

19 August 2013

Chained

D'onofrio's Men in Black character drives a cab as cover for his secret life.








So, he and the director wanted to call this movie "Rabbit"  which would have been a much better title.  It built up and up and up and then it just stops.  They ran out of money.  So I was all into it being an 8 out of 10, but then it was a 6.  Bummer.  It coulda been a contender.

18 August 2013

Innocent Blood

French Vampire decides that the mob is wasting blood.







Set in Pittsburgh, uses all our favorites from every mob movie, including a few you wouldn't expect like Don Rickles.  John Landis directed so you know there is comic relief.

Byzantium

Secret vampire society, no girls allowed.





Retelling, can walk in daylight, no sparkles, everyone out to get them, etc.
Lovely costumes during the back story bits, bleak scenery of winter in the English seaside, love, loss, greed, redemption.  I thought the ending a little too pat, as though they had an alternate but those crazy Americans in the test audience wanted a happy finish.   Saoirse Ronin was amazing as usual.  And I could watch Gemma Arterton in anything.

Europa Report

Ignoring people's paranoia gets everyone killed.








Well done science.  NASA was a consultant and they used actual footage and it was beautiful and amazing and scary.  Interesting premise, good cast, fantastic photography. There were holes in the plot/story, but there always are in movies.  I want to watch this again.

Blood and Donuts

Vampire walks into a Donut Shop...







Typical 1980s camp.  Big hair, mullets, heavy guitar riffs, 88 minute music video feel.  Vampire tired of it all.  The usual angst.